His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
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We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
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Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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