Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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