sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
