just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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