Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
