what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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