If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Small penises have feelings too.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
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