yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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