3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
