It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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