Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
