your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
