We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize