I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
