you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize