I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
