If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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