Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
