I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
