Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
