Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
