Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
