but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i think i just lost a toe
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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