Christians are straight up FREAKS
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
