Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
