billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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