D3 body, D1 cock
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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