now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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