when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
