Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
