I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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