Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
