Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
my shit smells like andre
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
