i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
