Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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