i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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