that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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