They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
