I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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