I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
