My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
