I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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