I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize