last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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