She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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