I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
