my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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