I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
