that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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