i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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