my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
