i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
