You can't motorboat a personality
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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