Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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