I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
only if we run a train.
done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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