If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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