I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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